Into light
THINK. A good laugh cures many problems. I find it often works as an immunity potion, builds an armor of perspective and relaxation.
Even before we moved into Ireland, my wife discovered this outstanding Irish comedy group, Foil Arms & Hog. Their sketches helped us carry through the pandemic with more smile on our faces. We have seen them performing live 2 years ago and went to their new show again last week. They have a way of starting the show through interacting with random people in the audience through hilarious and light banter, and they later weave in elements of these conversations in their sketches.
Two obsessive thoughts were on my mind all the time. Most likely I would be absolutely mortified, frozen, ashamed to be one of the sketch props. A nightmare of thousand people watching me. Second, it is shocking what impact one might create by mastering bodily, face and voice expression.
It appears so easy, but the capacity for improvisation, thinking on one's feet and articulating it in a cohesive and funny way is a true art. Whether it's on stage, in a boardroom, at a family dinner table or in a public space, the ability to own the audience, control the narrative and express our needs and desires is priceless.
Next step - an improv class?
FEEL. I feel I am not walking my own talk and do not say "no" frequently enough. The act of choosing (as opposed to drifting to follow somebody's expectation) is both intellectual and emotional, in similar measures. While the need for resistance to take a path somebody has laid out for us in their interest is rational, the very act of resisting comes from the heart. It takes courage to prioritize yourself over expectations of others. Even worse, these expectations might not even exist - it is how we imagine it.
It made me wonder how much of decisions I feel I am making independently are bound to my own embedded anxieties and needs, rather than the opinions of others. Are we all slaves to approval, recognition, and external validation? Probably yes but is it not a definition of a social animal?
Stopping by to notice your gut feeling is normally the best way forward. The tingling emotion in your body is going to tell you where the boundary is. I felt that a couple of times last week, forced myself to choose "me" and... it felt so great in the end. Right after I went through a rabbit hole if imaginary consequences.
Practice daily acts of courage. And if it's hard, at least don't say "yes" right away!
DO. With the weekend around the corner, I am making some plans. The first includes waking up ahead of dawn on Saturday. At 4:00am my daughter and I are joining thousands of others who are showing their support through Darkness into Light walk all over the country. Pieta, a foundation in Ireland, provides crisis support services to people who are experiencing thoughts of suicide, engage in self-harm and those bereaved by suicide. Pieta operate a 24/7 helpline and help spread awareness. It all starts from a simple idea that we are not alone with our distress.
Suicidal ideation is more common than we might think. Research says that on average every one in eight people experience suicidal thoughts during their lifetime. This is a blended number, but there are populations that are more exposed to the distress than others - adolescents, women, people suffering from mental disorders, trauma, chronic pain, or social and economic distress. If you are interested to read more, check out this article created by my AI research assistant based on peer reviewed journals in medicine, neuroscience and psychology.
The observation that struck me the most was that evidence shows that suicidal ideation is usually reduced in 80% to 90% of cases during the helpline conversation or even a text exchange with crisis helpline operators! Neuroimaging suggests that it is the supportive human connection that helps regulate emotional centers and reduce distress in the moment.
We often assume we know, but do we really? Waking up really early to see the sun rising over Marlay Park is one way of reminding myself to keep noticing and reaching out. Bringing others into light of life with you.
